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Relationship Outcomes

3 days ago
3 min

Relationship Outcomes

Effective Communication. Stop Spinning Tires. The number one difficulty that couples present in couples counselling, is a lack of effective communication. Time and time again, couples will report this is the primary reason for attending counselling. One of the biggest reasons that couples will report having difficulty with effective communication, is that they feel like they’re continuously spinning their tires on the same problem again and again and again. But why does this

Build a Better Relationship

Mar 23
2 min

Build a Better Relationship

Relationships work best when the environment is a reflection of the values that we cherish. When discussing ways to build a better relationship, many people focus primarily on communication. For example, Dr. Gottman describes his 4 Horsemen of the relationship, including Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling, and Contempt. At the heart of these 4 concepts is essentially a lack of positive communication skills. And this is a good starting point. However, even if you rule out

Happy St. Patrick's Day ...and Relationship Outcomes

Mar 17
3 min

Happy St. Patrick's Day ...and Relationship Outcomes

Is it simply an excuse to drink green beer, wear green clothing, and have a lot of fun? For many people St. Patrick’s Day commemorates the arrival of Saint Patrick, and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, which is marked by the celebration of Irish heritage and culture. For others, it is simply an excuse to drink green beer, wear green clothing, and have a lot of fun. And for the rest of us, it is simply a day to engage in outlandish alcohol consumption. But what does thi

Relationship Outcomes. Conflict Resolution. Effective Communication.

Mar 9
2 min

Relationship Outcomes. Conflict Resolution. Effective Communication.

Unfortunately, for many of us, Disney lied to us. They did not live happily ever after. They had conflicts, disagreements, arguments, hurt feelings, and difficulties with communication. In fact, one of the biggest factors regarding relationship outcome is how well the couple can deal with conflict. The better conflict resolution skills a relationship has, the higher the chances the relationship will succeed. And one of the best conflict resolution skills to possess is effecti

Counseling. Relationships. Accountability. Magic.

Mar 3
2 min

Counseling. Relationships. Accountability. Magic.

If self-help books were that effective, would there really be a need for psychologists? I was talking with a couple of colleagues the other day, and we were discussing the concept of whether or not self-help books work. At least to a certain extent, they can definitely help people gain wider knowledge, create some avenues of introspection, and they likely do help on some journeys of self discovery. And yet, if self-help books were that effective, there would really be no need

Creating Desire Requires Creating Space! Creating Balance

Feb 24
2 min

Creating Desire Requires Creating Space! Creating Balance

Life Demands Balance!!!! As I have often said time and time again, and will no doubt say again many times: Life Demands Balance!!!! Everything works better when it is in balance, which creates harmony. Every environment on earth requires Balance. Reefs have more fish in abundance when sharks are present. Deer populations became healthier in Yellowstone Park when wolves were reintroduced. Engines run better when they are balanced. The climate works better when there is a balan

Seduction is like Creating an Appetite - Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Feb 16
2 min

Seduction is like Creating an Appetite - Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

For many people, Valentine’s Day marks the day of passion, lust, sensuality, intimacy, and carnal sexual desires. And for others, it simply marks another day of the week. But for those of us who are hoping to engage in decadent and deviant debaucheries, the question becomes, how do we seduce our partners into the bedroom? Kitchen? Dungeon? Etc? When we talk about sex, we often forget the most important part, that is, everything before sex!!!! For example, what did we do to se

The Power of Energy in Relationships

Feb 9
2 min

The Power of Energy in Relationships

Relationships carry their own energy, and that energy can be positive, life-affirming, and regenerative, or it can be negative, life dis-affirming, and draining. Referring back to the experiment conducted and explained in my previous blog, it is noted that people develop energy. Sometimes we even refer to this as vibrating at a certain frequency, or frequency of consciousness. We even have other sayings and proverbs that refers to this phenomenon, such as, “you reap what you

The Power of Saying, “Yes” in Relationships.

Feb 1
3 min

The Power of Saying, “Yes” in Relationships.

New Year’s Resolution As we leave behind the first month of the New Year, and many of us have already begun to give up on our New Year’s resolutions, and all of that “New Year, New Me” hullabaloo, it is time to look forward to our next most favourite Hallmark holiday, Valentine’s Day. Yes, February is definitely a month of love, and thus we get to start focusing on our very important romantic and intimate relationships. So, in the spirit of the upcoming month dedicated to sex

What is Family Drama Trauma Anyway?

Jan 26
2 min

What is Family Drama Trauma Anyway?

If you ask 100 people, what is family drama trauma anyway? You are likely to get about 100 different opinions and responses. To clarify, I use this term simply referring to our family of origin, the family environment in which we were raised, the parenting styles employed by our parents, interactions with extended family, as well as the conditions both inside the family and outside of the family that we were exposed to (think values, culture, tradition, religion, society, soc

Why Do Old Habits Die Hard, Examining Maladaptive Behaviours

Jan 18
2 min

Why Do Old Habits Die Hard, Examining Maladaptive Behaviours

I have said it before, and I will say it again, life is teaming with paradoxes!! I think one of my favourite paradoxes of all time, is the concept that most, if not all current maladaptive behaviour patterns, were at one time, adaptive. In fact, this is the reinforcement that is required to effectively build, shape, and fortify the very habits, beliefs, and behaviours that we want to change! For example, if I learn as a young child that my parents really only want me around w

Creating Healthy Conditions For Sustained Change

Jan 11
3 min

Creating Healthy Conditions For Sustained Change

People never stop changing, and we never stop growing. This is both a blessing and a curse.

Fantasy Bonding

Aug 8, 2022
2 min

Fantasy Bonding

In psychology, there is a theory called the power of Fantasy Bonding. This is the concept that underlies almost every facet of life.

Factors for Growth

Aug 2, 2022
4 min

Factors for Growth

Psychology is Just a Fancy Word for “Human Engineering”. And just like the laws of physics or the laws of thermodynamics, there are laws for human engineering as well. Much like an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force, human beings also get into habits and grooves, and stay in these motions unless acted upon by an outside force. These outside forces can come from a variety of different factors, including people around us, such as our friendsh

Growth - What Does it Mean?

Jul 27, 2022
2 min

Growth - What Does it Mean?

What does tangible, real-life growth look like?

You’ve Changed

Jun 21, 2022
3 min

You’ve Changed

Stagnation in an environment can lead to learned helplessness, burnout, chronic fatigue, depression, and feelings of unhappiness, as it typ

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