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Make Intimacy & Desire a New Year’s Resolution

Holiday Magic.


In the previous Blog, Naughty Food for Thought, I posted some questions to encourage individuals to reflect on different aspects of their own sexuality. Many of us end up becoming distracted and preoccupied with many of life’s commonplace tasks, routines, and habits. If we do not keep sexuality, intimacy, and desire, as part of a rotating list of top priorities, it will quickly fall by the wayside. This, unfortunately happens to many couples, especially those with busy, hectic, and active lives. Then, when there is finally time for the bedroom, we realize that there is no gas in the tank, which results in sadness, fear, loneliness, confusion, and disconnection. Therefore, I am encouraging everyone to consider some fun ways to make intimacy and desire part of your New Year’s resolution for promoting more connection in your relationships.

Make Intimacy & Desire a New Year’s Resolution

Fun ways to make intimacy & desire part of your New Year’s Resolution


Step 1. Prioritizing (Creating Boundaries).

Making the commitment to sex and intimacy, is not just about making a commitment to your partner but making a commitment to yourself and to the relationship. Sex and intimacy is often one area that separates our deep and meaningful relationships from just friends or just roommates. Make it a priority!


Related to this step, is prioritizing Emotional Connection. Intimacy is not just physical, it is also emotional. Strengthen your emotional bond by spending quality time together, engaging in deep conversations, and showing affection outside of the bedroom. When you feel connected on an emotional level, it can translate to more fulfilling and passionate physical connection.


Step 2. Open Communication.

As previously discussed, although it takes tremendous vulnerability, being open in our desires and wants, can fan the flames of desire. Sharing your fantasies, and encouraging them to do the same, creates a deeper connection and helps us understand each other’s desires.


Step 3. Surprise and Variety.

Keep the flame alive by introducing variety into your intimate moments. Surprise your partner with spontaneous gestures, whether it's a surprise date night, a romantic getaway, or trying out new things in the bedroom. The element of surprise can reignite passion and keep things exciting.


Step 4. Creating a Sensual Environment.

Pay attention to your surroundings. Transform your bedroom into a sensual haven by using soft lighting, scented candles, and luxurious bedding. A comfortable and inviting environment can enhance the overall experience, and create a space where intimacy can flourish. No one is going to be turned on by a mound of dirty socks! (Well maybe someone is, but probably not your partner).


Step 5. Experiment with Fantasy.

Embrace your fantasies and encourage your partner to do the same. Whether it's trying out new role-playing scenarios, introducing sensual games, or exploring different aspects of your sexuality together, experimenting with fantasy can add a playful and adventurous element to your relationship.


As we have often said on the farm, “you reap what you sow”. The more time energy and effort you put into your intimate relationships, the more crops you will reap.


Jessica Blake Registered Psychologist

At Blake Psychological, we are here to help you navigate the stress, strain and pressure of the holidays.

Come heal, grow and create together

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