Relationships have Stock Options - What areas do you invest in?
Everything in life is a function of time and money. Both are finite, and sometimes we have more of one and less of the other, sometimes we have plenty of both, and sometimes it feels like we don’t have either one. Well, what we choose to do with our time and energy, both outside and inside the relationship, is just as important as what we do with our money, and where we choose to invest it.
I always recommend making a balanced investment portfolio in the relationship. If I choose to invest too much time or energy into a particular sector of my relationship, then that gives me less time and energy to invest in other equally important areas.
This problem always occurs with the arrival of the first child. Many people with children will often report that the worst year of any relationship, is the first year after the first baby. This would make perfect sense. For example, people become quickly exhausted, we do not eat as well, we do not sleep as well, we become irritable and cranky, and we often do not have the energy to reinvest in each other and the relationship. We can only hope that the savings we have accumulated leading up to that first child are enough to see us through that long cold dark winter.
Life Demands Balance!
I always encourage clients to invest in sex and intimacy, time together and time apart, time for the family, and time for recreational pursuits to be of vital importance. At different points, different areas may become our primary concern for investment. However, it is vitally important that we remember to let each particular area at some point be our top priority. Life Demands Balance!! So again, for example if I focus all of my time on my children, my partner will inevitably feel rejected, left out, lonely, and then they will start to feel taken for granted, and may start to feel like a walking paycheck. At this point, my partner’s own feelings of animosity and resentment will start to grow.
As we said on the farm, learning to budget and invest your time and energy is just as important as learning to invest your money. You only have so much of each, and every minute or dollar counts!!
Come heal, grow and create together
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