Creating Desire Requires Creating Space! Creating Balance
Life Demands Balance!!!!
As I have often said time and time again, and will no doubt say again many times: Life Demands Balance!!!! Everything works better when it is in balance, which creates harmony. Every environment on earth requires Balance.
Reefs have more fish in abundance when sharks are present.
Deer populations became healthier in Yellowstone Park when wolves were reintroduced. Engines run better when they are balanced. The climate works better when there is a balance. Our lives are better when we have a work-life balance.
Life Demands Balance!!!! So, what about relationships?
When you organize a garden, you must carefully space out your plants, because otherwise they will tangle and struggle against each other, and ultimately die. People are exactly the same. People in relationships must find balance, between time together, and space apart. The space apart allows us to dump negative energy in places other than our relationship, seek out advice for problems we may be experiencing and in fact create desire.
There is an old saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” When we are away from someone that we love, and cherish, whether or not a family member, a friend, or an intimate partner, it is that time away that creates a longing, a hunger, a desire and a craving. Unfortunately, all too often in relationships we do not always have time to spend apart from each other. We become busy with the children, we become busy with work, and we often lose out on opportunities to pursue our own individual pursuits.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Our individual pursuits also happen to put a lot of gas in our tanks. Working out, hobbies, pursuing interests, seeing friends, and spending time away from a relationship can actually create vigour and energy that we then bring back to our relationship as well. So, it has a multiplying effect. Not only do we miss our partners, but were energized from our individual pursuits. The key point though is balance. So, for example, if I enjoy playing hockey and I play it twice a week, this is unlikely to have an overly negative effect on my relationship. But if I play hockey every single night, a few things will happen. There’s a good chance I will get bored of hockey, my individual relationships will suffer, my productivity at work will likely start to suffer and I will definitely become exhausted. Relationships are no different. If I spend all of my time in a relationship, at best I will start to lose myself, and eventually I will become codependent.
As we said on the farm, “you can only plant one crop at a time”. If you try to plant 5 crops in the same field, at the same time, it’s not going to work out very well.
Come heal, grow and create together
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