Family of Origin. Sex. Intimacy. Relationships. And even Weddings
The top 5 Factors that are Required for Relationship Success
Our family of origin in our childhood environment can shape who we are throughout the course of our life. Not only that, we are also seeing the implications that intergenerational trauma can have on families and individuals as well. It has never been so important to understand how our family of origin shapes our lives.
People are often surprised to learn how much their family of origin shapes their views on family, values, sex and intimacy, how people should behave and act in relationships, and how we perceive ourselves every day of our lives.
Yet, another area that people are often surprised about is how it shapes our views on weddings, marriages, and the way relationships last. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, Disney lied to us! There is no such thing as happily ever after. Couples come into my office time and time again, just before or just after they tie the knot, and are surprised that it is not happily ever after.
Everybody focuses on the big day, and yet the tools that we need to foster connection and
growth to make a great relationship are often forgotten.
I get asked all the time, what I would say are the top 5 factors that are required for relationship success. I always tell people we need at least the 5 following ingredients:
1. We must always practice Kindness and Generosity with our partners
2. We must have strong Conflict Resolution Skills
3. We need to develop Boundaries and Balance
4. We need develop a Teamwork Mentality – (Trust and Respect are a good start)
5. We must understand our own Expectations in Relationships both for ourselves and our partner.
Of course, there are many other ingredients, (depending on the flavour of the cake we are baking) but just like baking, there are always going to be common ingredients.
So, before you tie the big knot, as it is wedding season, I encourage anyone reading this to reflect on those top 5 ingredients, to determine how strong the relationship is in any one of those areas.
As we said on the farm, it is not going to work itself out, just because you hope it does..
Come heal, grow and create together
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